I am, by no fault of my own, a typical TYPE A personality. (Thanks, Dad.) Several of my strengths are also my biggest weaknesses, such as planning EVERYTHING out...you know, the typical "5 year plan" person...that's me. However, I have learned, over the past month, all about allowing the Holy Spirit to have free reign in my life...and he has WRECKED my life and my thinking. Completely.
I am maturing and growing out of my need to plan every next step. I want the Spirit to lead me in each conversation, interaction, worship service, time alone...every moment.
I can make plans, write in permanent Sharpie marker, and pretend not to hear, but God has a way to make Himself and His agenda known. I often think that once my husband finishes school, once we start to "settle down", once I figure out what I want to be when I grow up, once we figure out whatever it is we need to figure out, that I will have a stable, permanent, NORMAL life. BAM! Just like that. But, how sorely I was mistaken...
Life with God is EPIC.
Shauna Niequist says it best. "Life with God at its core is about giving your life up to something bigger and more powerful. It's about saying at every turn that God knows better than we know, and that his Spirit will lead us in ways that we couldn't have predicted. I have known that, but I haven't really lived that. Life is twisty and surprising. It keeps us moving and dancing and watching, and never lets us drop down into a life set on cruise control or a life ruled by remote control. Life with God is a daring dream, full of flashes and last-minute exits and generally all the things we've said we'll never do. And with the surprises comes great hope."
So, you see, everything is interim.
I will write in pencil in this life, but allow the Spirit to write in pen on my heart.
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